My Top 5 Xmas Flicks

I know, I know...I'm breaking the rules here. This article contains no boob-age or vagina speak....but it's Christmas folks. Some people donate toys to kids. Some people give money to the poor. Others do government mandated community service at the local soup kitchens.



I write bad articles. With that being said, I'm now in a giving mood. As my gift to you all this holiday season, here are my top 5 Christmas related movies. I promise not to give away the story or the endings...since I know most of you are too cheap to rent em...even though they can be had on cable...you're just lazy. So here they are...in no particular order:

Fuckin ELF. What can I say about this TNT New Classic. It makes me remember what I found funny as a bonafide child...and what still makes me giggle now. This is a movie that gets funnier with every viewing. Will Ferrel nails it through-out. And I may be alone in this...maybe not...but who...by show of hands...fell in love with Zooey Deschanel after this flick? No takers? Bite me then. She's mine...

Mix a drunkin Santa Clause and a Potty mouth midget...what do you get???...Unexpected comic genius. For anyone who hasn't seen this yet...you'e doing youreselves a dis-service. Seriously. Forget the second 1/2 cheesy ending...just watch the first hour...and you'll thank me. Plus Bernie Mack is now dead. You're guilted into renting this one...
YYYEEEAAAHHH BBOOOYYYY (in my best flavor flav voice). Don't get me started on this gem. You have the everyman....fresh off of Moonlighting...battling a German terrorist named HANS...throw Carl Winslow alla Family Matters into this Pie...and you're ready to stick you're thumb in it. Seriously....if you haven't seen this yet...you have no penis.

Do-not...I repeat...but not feed these cute little whatthefucks before midnight. Dammit. You did....didn't you? Oh well. Nothing like a little blood, guts, and an awesome exploding microwave scene set to the tune of Christmas music to get you in a joyous mood. This is an 80's classic. Regardless of the season...it deserves mentioning.
Last but not least...Chevy Chase's claim to movie fame...Vacation movies. If sums up the middle class Christmas in sooo many ways. Annoying in-laws...Crappy music....even worse gifts....just awesome. I plan on spending this Christmas locked in an attic wearing ladies clothing.


So there's my top 5 X-mas flicks (I know...I'm two XX's short...but there IS a world outside of naked movies). Pop one of these badboys in and enjoy you're Festivus...You're Welcome and I'm out...