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6/29/09

Who's knocking off our celebrities?



Its an epidemic people. At this pace, we are losing a celebrity every 3-5 days. We have to put a stop to this. To arms!!! First Mr. kung Fu himself, David Carradine, found hanging in a closet in Asia. Death through kinkiness.



Next up...Heeeerrrrreeee's Eddy!!! Good 'ol (and I mean old) Ed McMahon. Not too much of a surprise, but still, he was just beginning to hit his stride with the Cash for Gold commercials. Sad.



Farrah Fawcett, again, not a big surprise. I actually thought she died last month. Shows you how much I watch TMZ. But, *spoiler alert*, someone comes along and steals her thunder (Aaa Thank you Mikey Love).

farrah fawcett

Two words, 13 number 1 hits, 1 sparkly glove, the moonwalker himself, Michael Jackson.

michael jackson


He didn't even let her body get cold before he stepped up and knocked her out of the box. And he placed himself in his own box (bad taste?). Sorry. Maybe. I dunno. As an entertainer the man has no rival....but he's still a strange fruit. Unlike our last (for now) victim, Billy Mays Hayes (ok...no hayes). The man could, and did, sell ice to an eskimo. All of this death has got me thinking....this isn't normal. It should have stopped with Farrah. It's written in the Torah that death, celebrity deathes, ALWAYS come in 3's. So Farrah should have ended the slaughter. But now we're due 1 more. Is someone or something knocking off celebrities? What force out there is putting such a huge dent on my world of entertainment? I had to find out. I sent the Nudge out of the country myself to find it. It is THAT important. Slowly he started trickling in information to me. And it all began to make sense. Travel. All of them. Either out of country, out of state, or out of mind. Then it dawned on me. Swine Flu. I said it. Swine flu became yesterdays news, so in response, it started picking off my favorite celebs one by one. Don't believe CNN or Fox news. The Nudge has uncovered something big here. This may be my last post. I'm writing this from my bunker by candle light. If I go...youll know why...Blame it on the pigs...the pigs people...

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