For Sale ~ Beat By The Nudge- No, You're Dumb!

10/23/09

For Sale

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I was taking a peek at a video game website, just browsing the Pre-Owned section when I saw this....a Pre-Owned Blue tooth headset....and it got me to wondering....why...just why? The history of the sale goes back hundreds of years (I can't prove that, but I'm going to take an educated guess). First there was the sale....new items...that are now old due to newer items taking over...leading to a savings bonanza. Then there's used items. The name says it all...things were new...now they're just used. Like prostitutes or a 1900's Model T-Ford. Then "Slightly Used" became popular. Gave it a "cleaner" sound. Next biggie....Refurbished. Meaning it was used...but after a fairy with some magical potion...the items new all over again. And lastly...the now popular...Pre-Owned. All the same shit...just with a slightly more renewed smell. Other then video games, I've never been a fan of buying something other then new. Here's a short list of things...in my opinion...that should never have been...but still somehow have been...listed as "pre-owned". If you don't believe me...try ebay.

1. Blu-Tooth headsets - Gamestop.com was selling these badboys about 5 bucks less then brand spanking new ones. I know what most gamers look like. I know their hygiene. I'll keep my 5 buckaroos and pass on the ear funk....thank you.

2. Mattresses - Take a sunday drive around any major city and you'll see this...a white van with 3 or 4 mattress piled on top and tied down with twine. Bet you wondered what they're for. Well boys...Imma drop some knowledge on you. These pioneers sell these mattresses for about 10 bucks a pop.....have a "new" covering put on the frame...and BOOM...slightly used mattress for sale...old spludge and bedbugs at no extra cost....enjoy.

3. Sex Toys - I'm serious. Sex Toy. They are for sale...used. Why? Who in their right mind would buy...and use...a pre-inserted sex toy....other then a crackhead? Last time I checked crackheads don't use Ebay. If you're really strapped for cash...we have HANDS people. HANDS.

4. Clothing - This is a peeve of mine. It's "cool" to buy a strangers Salvation Army Ramones T-Shirt. But it doesn't stop there. You can by used bikinis, jeans, and even panties. Again....crackheads DO NOT USE Ebay....ever. So why in the holy shit do they sell used boxer shorts? Even worse....why do people buy them???!

This was just my government enforced good deed of the day. Hopefully I've reached one person...and in the process....prevented one contagious disease. You're Welcome and I'm out...