The Anti-Twilight

This has nothing to do with the article...I just find it amusing....


Let me start off by being honest...I have NEVER seen the Twilight movies. I have never read the Twilight books. I never got the Twilight meal at Burger King. All true. All equally shocking. But in the spirit of Halloween, I feel the need to do something spooky. Not really...it's just an excuse to show some hot vampire-esses (However the hell it's said).

With this being said...I still think...in my humble but nevertheless correct opinion...that Twilight got it wrong. Vampires should not be skinny pretty boys. No. They should be kick ass (Ala Blade), or smoking hot (Ala the pretties below).

more pics after the jump





Aaliyah was hot. Her acting chops may have been still developing, but her body had already grown up. I have never seen Queen of the Damned in its entirety, but I'd still rather see this on TBS then pay $10 for a Vampire who's butt I could kick.



Salma Hayek. Just look at Georgies face in the pic. That about sums it up.



Salma with a Vampire face...no problem. A little brown paper bag an I'm good to go....





Last...but certainly not least...the Queen of Vampire flicks...Kate Beckinsale. Kate Kate Kate....words don't do her justice. Now only if she'd show a bit more flesh in the new Underworld...you'd make me a happy lad.

Let's say she did a guest appearance in the new Twilight film. She'd roundhouse kick Edward...crotch punch Jacob...and the movie would be shorter then it's preview. That I'd give a Hamilton for....

Obviously the Twilight films are not geared towards someone like me. Fine. If you're a fan...then...um...ok...

You're Welcome and I'm out...