The Cat and Mouse Game of Internet Porn ~ Beat By The Nudge- No, You're Dumb!

6/25/09

The Cat and Mouse Game of Internet Porn

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Snippits while I whip it
Posted by J-Soul

Nothing like coming across your favorite and most frequented porn site hangouts and you stumble upon your flavor of the week. Your Priya Rai’s, Carmel Moore’s, Mariah Milano’s, Lela Star's and then some. You know, your lil clips where you see them for 30 seconds and fall in love, bigtitboss, latinadultery and mrbigdickshotchicks. That’s when you crave for more and go on your google hunts for free flicks and extended clips of these jewels, by now 20 mins have passed and your shorts are still wrapped around your ankles, waiting for the perfect video of them, you’ve come too far to settle, you want to appreciate your new found loves.

This isn’t a quickie while your friends are waiting downstairs for you to go out, this is calculated, researching is involved, away message is up and nothing else matters. This is taking so long you start to get picky, now you’re finding 30 second clips, 1 minute clips and even that isn’t good enough, all for FREE. Finally you want to get it over with, but you click backwards and go for more, 23 minutes have passed and you don’t want to give up the pursuit, it’s beginning to become a cat and mouse game but you want to hold out just a tad longer, you’re even into such a groove you whip your debit card out of your wallet and want to get the whole 1 hour movie and become a customer (until you’re done and embarrassed putting away your card and thinking, what the fuck was I doing?) finally you give in and its always the same scenario occurring, all of your sweat and hard work and just as its happening, they zoom into Julien’s face or that guy w the shaved head they’re using now.

What a fucking waste.

Here is waste #2, just as the clip is ending and so is your battle of holding out, the sites legal documents and filming location comes up, I don’t know which is worse, but I couldn’t even have a good time with my flavor of the week. I know it’s appealing while you’re in heat to just pay and have a recurring membership, but I just pull a Pete Nice now in Pop Goes the Weasel: “ya looped it ya looped it”

I just pick and choose clips of my favorites and loop the clip on my media player. It’s free and most of all it’s safe. This cheap and fun way has nothing to do with me being Jewish, it has everything to do with me being an addict for smut. Crocreview is also a great option, its like a porn version of “future flavors” minus pete rocks voice popping in every 2 minutes. It’s 3 minute clips of all the up and coming and hottest ladies of the moment ranging from cheating wives, milfs, latin and any other situation you can think of. The next time you’re having a blast, please, think of ME!

Do not get sucked into having your date ruined by juliens tattoos or legal jargon.