College Football Betting Featuring Violante Placido (NSFW)

It's that time of year again, and for those of you that are new fans of Bbtn, this actually is a college football handicapping website, if you could believe that. I've been handicapping strictly the college football game now for around nine years, and if you use the Patented Nudge Betting System (tm) you're gonna make some loot this Fall.  So start spending that money now.  Don't even worry about it.  Ring up the charge card, you're bookie will be paying it off in no time.


Get to the picks/pics after the jump



Here's how the system works, I rate the games on a star system from 1 to 5. Really all you need is the 5 Star picks. Those are for the dough, everything else is for show. And I have to be honest, my track record of 4 Star picks is only around 60% over the past five years, so like I tell everyone who follows me, stay away from those plays. I know it doesn't make sense but it works so just roll with it. I ain't changing anything that isn't broken.

It's the 5 Star plays where all the money is made.  And I don't force the top play like most handicappers who come out with a lock every weekend.  It's just impossible.  Some weeks there could be 4 or 5 5 Star plays in a week and then I can go a month without one.

I also throw in an upset/underdog pick of the week, and cause I'm from New York City and all the college football fans here follow Notre Dame, I give a Notre Dame pick too.  But all you have to do is follow the ratings of the pick and only lay serious cabbage on the big picks.  I am not responsible for any of the other picks, it's just how the system works.

This week's picks are kicked off with Italian model and actress Violante Placido.  She's the daughter of the woman who is remembered as having the greatest breasts in movie history.  That's right, Michael Corleone's wife Appolonia, Simonetta Stefaneli.

So on with the picks!

(the pick is the first team mentioned )

2 Star Play: Michigan giving 3 to UCONN.  Is Michigan going to be good this year?  Answer no.  They are going to be miserable and RichRod's days are numbered.  Me and Bbtn NFL Draft Expert C-Nut have been going back and forth about who's going to replace RR when he get's the boot in November.  I'm betting that Michigan asks LSU's for permission to start talking to The Hat (Les Miles) some time around November 25.  C-Nut swears that Michigan's new AD will be asking Stanford for permission to begin talking to Harbo around the same time.  I don't think Harbo is actually going to leave that job, whereas Miles has always said Michigan is his dream job, or something along those lines.  Either way, Michigan covers this week even though UCONN is a decent team and Zach "I hate Weiss and stretch Hummer Limo's" Frazer is a pretty good QB.  Todman is a decent back, but keep on eye on D.J. Shoemate who was a highly recruit player who transferred from USC.  He's going to explode onto the scene this year (Maybe).  RR covers this one and then starts losing. Cover

3 Star Play: LSU giving 3 to the Targeted Heels.  This should really be called the drama play of the day.  UNC kicks their best defensive stud off the team days before this game and their program is being picked apart by investigators on a daily basis.  Where were the NCAA investigators when Butchie was down in Miami.  Believe me, I was there.  I actually sat inside ray Lewis's $80,000 car when he was a junior in college making exactly $0 dollars a year.  Now all of a sudden everyone's trying to make the sport pure!  Keep your eye on newly minted WR Russell Shepard.  I've been talking about this kid for three years now.  I'm not sure what kind of wide receiver he'll make after switching from QB, but I will say this, he is explosive.  Second best player I've seen coming out of high school since Reggie Bush, seriously.  The Hat and Crowton need to figure out ways to get this kid the ball in space and let him geaux. Cover

4 Star Play: Auburn giving 31 to Ar-Kansas State:  Quick, while Tebow was down in Gator country, why wasn't 5 Star QB prospects lining up to sign letters of intent to go there to be his back up?  Answer, Cameron Newton.  But now he's on the War Eagles and they are going to use him in Gus "The Greatest Upwardly Mobile Coordinator" Malzahn's offense.  Auburn took a lot of heat for hiring Eugene Chizik after Tommy "I promise not to beat up sportcaster's sons" Tuberville took the money and ran.  But if they had hired him after 2006, it would have been seen as a huge coup.  So what the guy couldn't get Iowa State to win, does that mean that he can't recruit?  No FC King way (slang term stolen from loserswithsocks.com).  Those two guys can coach and look for them to use Ar-Kansas State as a big time punching bag. Loss

4 Star Play:  Oklahoma giving 34 to Utah "Hey we have a team too!" State.  I got two words for you college football fans for the 2010 season, "Don't sleep on Landry Jones."  Okay, maybe that's more like 25 words or something I don't know.  Boomer Sooners are loaded.  Murray, Madu and Calhoun are arguably the best three RB's on one team in the country.  VaTech might be there too.  Stoops has got to find a way to use Madu in the slot on bubble screens and the like.  Get him open in space.  I did not like their offensive line last year and I thought losing Loadholt was really going to hurt them and guess what, it did.  Jones got a lot of playing time last year in what could be called a wasted year when you're Heisman Daddy goes down.  But look out for Boomer Sooner nation to start to work it's way into NC talk.  They just have got to beat Mack Brown's Machine at the State Fair. Loss


Bonus Notre Dame Pick 4 Star Play:  Notre Dame giving 11 to the Mighty Boilermakers of Spewfieville:  Do I love B-Kell?  yes, yes I do.  I thought ND getting rid of Front Butt Charlie and hiring B-Kell was the best move of any school in the country.  Will that decision transform into wins for the down trodden program.  Well, I actually think it's more of the perfect storm of greatness for the Mighty Irish this year.  It's the combination of a couple of things all happening at once for them.  1) You have B-Kell and his win everywhere attitude, 2) you have Dayne Crist who has a rocket arm and is mobile, 3) you have two players that are going to make serious impacts in the game this year in Michael Floyd and Manti Te'o and lastly I think you're going to see Cierre Wood a lot more this year.  So things are looking up for them.  Just don't start making BCS Bowl vacation plans Irish fans.  You're two years away.  You got to solidify the defensive line, tackle, and play cover two in the new system and don't get beat beat.  How Smith, McCarthy, Slaughter and Motta go this year, so goes the Irish record.  If the Irish safeties can play and not lose the game, the offense is going to put up some numbers like they actually have been doing.  Losing Jimmy "The Emu" Clausen won't be as big of a deal as a lot of people think.  Actually losing him is better for the team. This team is going to be 2-3 after five games this year. Then they'll post four wins in a row, and finish with 7-5 record and everyone will start talking bad. Cover

Upset Pick of the Week 4 Star Play: VaTech getting 2 and a nudge to Boise Bronc's .  If VaTech wins this game will it really be considered an upset?  No.  But they are the underdog here and that's all that's needed for the upset pick.  When a dog is going to win outright, not just lose but within the spread.  That's how the system works.  VaTech is my preseason pick for winning the National Championship! You might be saying, "But Nudge, they're not the best team in college football, how the Hell are they going to win it?"  And I will reply that since when has being the best team in college football ever factored into the making of a national championship.  There's no playoff system.  All you have to do is get into the game and beat the other team you're facing.  You don't have to be the best, you just have to win and have people who don't watch college football vote for you in poll rankings.  Then those numbers are put into a computer system that only two people on Earth actually understand, and who can't explain to the rest of us, then magical numbers come out and BAM, you're playing for the crystal bowl.  It really doesn't have anything to do with the best actual team.  Beat your schedule, win your conference and then beat slOhio State in the BCS Championship game.  And that's exactly what's going to happen here.  Do not listen to the talk about how the ACC and Miami and Florida State are going to be tough teams this year.  Hogwash.

VaTech will run the ball down the throat of every team they face on the regular season schedule and play gritty defense and BeamerBall special teams.  They'll win the ACC and play an undefeated, majorly hyped slOhio State team in the NC game while the better teams of the SEC will be bumping each other off and have to sit at home and watch the game on the TV they got from their agent. FIX THE SYSTEM or make it so the number 1 ranked team in the nation has to play the SEC Champion regardless of record.

VaTech wins this one outright and all the What if Boise goes undefeated talk ends.  But look out cause three weeks from now they'll be new talk of another non-BCS team going to the NC...........Loss- beat by the nudge


5 Star Play: TCU giving 13 and a nudge to Oregon State.  I hate Quizz Rodgers.  I don't know why.  He's never personally insulted me, I just think he's over hyped and if his name was Nathan Daniels you probably never would have heard of him.  And that bothers me.  He's hyped cause his Mommy gave him a really cool name.  Why couldn't that happen to me.  I'm named Nudge.  That's cool right?

TCU is that good.  They will enter the national championship talk right around the time they beat SMU on September 24.  But here me now and believe me later, TCU will never get into the NC game with an undefeated season.  Ever. Strength of schedule is a joke.  They get BYU at home and have to travel to Utah.  That's their season in a nutshell.  Is this line a little high?  Yea, but don't worry, put the loot up with the bookie and sit back as Dalton is ripping apart the Beaver-less defensive backs.  4 Seniors on the offensive line, that is TCU Horned Frogs football in 2010.  Nuff said. Loss


and lastly,
5 Star Play: Texas giving 30 and a nudge to Rice.  A couple of years ago I made the mistake of betting against the Longhorn machine in the first game of the year with a super spread.  I was actually laughing midway into the second quarter about how FC King stupid I was.  I lost a lot of loot.  Thanks Green Machine-less North Texas.

Mack Brown has some catching up to do.  And how do you catch up in the polls that are voted on by people who don't watch the games?  You Spurrier the lesser opponents.  Voters look in the papers on Sunday morning before they fill out their voting forms.  SO if they see that Texas won by 55 while Alabama won by only 10 against lesser opponents, in their stupid FC King minds they think that Texas must be better than Bama.  Surely 55 is more than 10, you can't argue that.  And that's it.

Mack's Machine has four very-very-very winnable games before they get to the State Fair.  They will keep the scoreboard operator busy.  They have to move up in the polls.  Who in God's name has slOhio State and Boise ranked ahead of Texas in the preseason polls.  The fact that right now Texas is ranked behind slOhio and Bama is going to hurt them up until they play BoomerSooners.  If they win that one they'll jump into the 2 spot, but up until then look out.  Gilbert can sling it, and Texas is even more loaded than most pundits think.
Loss


And that's it.  I got to go and help Urban Meyer pray to all the religions in the world that someone in an opposing SEC defense doesn't take John "Don't call me Timmy" Brantley knees out.  Quick, name the guy who will step into and run the Florida offense the first time Brantley get's his clocked cleaned?

Answer: Trey Burton from Venice Florida.  Pray Harder Urban, you're not doing it hard enough!  And don't forget all the Hindu God's too.  I think there is 7,000 of them.  Better pray to each one to be on the safe side!


See ya sports fans!